Futurama (Matt Greoning’s other non-yellow creation) is a cartoon sci-fi hit, full of laughs and lovable characters. Everybody remembers the main Planet Express crew sure, but what about the other characters? Where are those who aren’t featured on an episode to episode basis? Where is their Futurama love? This is Outrageous!
Relax intelligent reader! You are correct as always. Right here is your solution. Those best of the minors will be brought forward and examined for your enjoyment. This is the Top Ten ‘Other’ Futurama characters.
Ruler of Omicron Persei 8! This giant red caped Omicronian kicks off the prestigious list of subsidiary characters at number 10.
A frequent and violent invader of Earth, Emperor Lrrr appears to be motivated more by his wife Ndnd than his subjects. If he had it his way, his valuable time would be spent on the couch rather than invading Earths inhabitants. Perhaps this explains Lrrr’s profound understanding of Earth sitcoms like Friends (he dislikes Joey centric episodes). Conversely he shows almost no understanding in anatomy and behaviors, as well as the proper use of a microphone ‘on the job’ of conquering.
His lack of knowledge in anatomy is highlighted when Lrrr attempts to use Fry’s ‘lower horn’ as an aphrodisiac, but mistakes it for his nose.
Sudden invasions and carnivore like instincts are second nature to help solve his infuriating conundrums, and more importantly… to please his wife. Lrrr’s attempt to attack Earth due to the abrupt ending to the 20th Century show ‘single female lawyer” features his hastiness to its full extent. Lrrr also once ate a hippie as a direct result of his young being eaten by humans, and has proven to dislike the infuriating concept of ‘wuv’ presented on romantic candies.
Lrrr: If McNeal wishes to be taken seriously why does she not simply tear the judge’s head off?
Lrrr: One of these days Ndnd, bang, zoom, straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!
Lrrr: Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
9. The Crushinator
Never before has the feminine alluring call “YOU HOO” sounded so powerful, enter the Crushinator. With her home based on the scarcely occupied moon, she is surrounded with a small group of family members. With these robot siblings and her protective human hydroponic farmer for a father, The Crushinator had her most important appearance in “The Series has Landed” where we first caught a glimpse of that “slender” robot figure. The Crushinator is widely considered to be one of the most attractive robots in the series history, so much so that playbot Bender exclaimed a lady that fine would require a “romancing” if things were to escalate. This personification of beauty is so alluring in fact, that Bender risked capture by her crazed father, a second time.
The Crushinator owns many credentials, from miss universe contestant, to transforming into a lunar mobile of some kind. Being the mother of Bender’s child from ANOTHER trip to her moon home, and her apparent double-up as a stunning moon vehicle, the Crushinator deserves spot number 9 on this list of minor characters.
Crushinator: No Pa. I love him.
Crushinator: Thank you, Bob Barker. I’m as happy as a girl can be. End statement.
Futurama’s answer to the stereotypical 1970’s soul brother resides within the peace officer for the New New York police department and certified Badass, URL (actually pronounced ‘Earl’). Right from the word ‘Ohhh’ URL (Earl…) has been included in the shows extravagant list of characters, originally chasing down Fry in the first episode “space pilot” with his ever present partner Smitty.
URL has delt out more justice to the planet express crew with his lightsabre like baton than any other individual. Arresting Bender several times, Fry, Kif, Professor Farnsworth, Wernstrom and most perplexing of all Erwin Schrödinger, who’s questionable cat life related crimes were foiled by URL and led to his promotion to the future crimes division.
Always smooth and collected in manner, URL managed to replace the prematurely retired Smitty and work with Fry in the Future Crimes Division, and rightfully pushing him into the spotlight during the episode “Law and Oracle”. Whenever there is crime afoot, you better believe URL is one smooth roll behind…. Ohhh Yeah baby.
URL: He’s clean. Smells nice too.
Smitty: Better than me?
URL: Oh, yeah.
URL: I’m gonna get 24th century on his ass.
URL: Undercover pursuit in progress… Baby.
URL: Mama said “Spock you out.”
7. Ethan “Bubblegum” Tate
How could the entertainment and skill of the Harlem Globetrotters possibly be topped? Impossible you say? Consider the planet globetrotter, an entire alien race and culture descended from the current Globetrotters. Picture if you will our earthen society, with all its scientific expertise, but every single individual as a giant extremely athletic and skilled basketball player on top of those attributes! No surprise then that a full scale challenge of Earth was imminent and came to pass in the episode “Time Keeps Slippin”.
The commander and head scientific mind of these intergalactic ballers is known as Ethan “Bubblegum” Tate, an expert and head lecturer in physics at Globetrotter University.
Bubblegum is commonly seen challenging planets to basketball games for no particular reason except simply to embarrass them, solving complicated time paradox equations, and a general hating on Bender who idolizes him (and should deal with it). Apart from his distain of Bender and allowing others to be honorary Globetrotter members, he is always there to help at Earth’s dire needs with one of the brightest minds in the universe, as all ballers should.
Ethan ‘Bubblegum’ Tate: “Pitiful ballplayers of Earth, I am Ethan “Bubblegum” Tate, commander of the Harlem Globetrotters. For generations, your puny planet has lived in peace with the Globetrotter Homeworld. But now, for no reason, we challenge you to defend your honor on the basketball court.”
Ethan ‘Bubblegum’ Tate: “You dare laugh at the jesters of dunk? We came here to terrify and humilliate you, not tickle your funny bones. Watch, as I humilliate your civilization by passing the ball to Curly Joe… only to have it stay in my hand with elastic!”
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: “You’re ‘that’ Bubblegum Tate?”
Ethan ‘Bubblegum’ Tate: “Well, I sure ain’t his grandma.”
6. Malfunctioning Eddie
Malfunctioning Eddie is a direct link to those car dealers claiming insanity within their contemptible adds, however he is able to provide truth to their assertion for a change. Eddie is a robot who is literally malfunctioning and owns a car dealership with insane prices, perhaps to entice customers with the prospect of extremely low cost due to his mental and physical state.
Eddie has an unfortunate trademark reaction for which he is known. When surprised, he..well.. explodes. Which leads to suggest he has some sort of maintenance personal near him at all times, or at least a self serve repair kit for the beheaded.
Fry found this calamitous side effect when he became his roommate inside a robot mental asylum in the episode “Insane in the mainframe”. Fry ignores explicit instructions to avoid surprising him, asserting once Eddie introduces himself that they had already met. He also helps send Fry along the long path to insanity with his exploding dilemma, which he later gets temporarily treated to provide only a minor explosion once the news of his release becomes known.
Amy Wong also creates a head exploding situation when she interprets the car price at Eddie’s emporium as an auction, and increases an already elevated offer due to salesman’s tricks of the trade. Needless to say, Malfunctioning Eddie was excited by the gratuitous “bid”. Regardless (or due) to his shortcomings, Eddie provides a shock which we all have come to love.
Malfunctioning Eddie: “Nice to meet you.”
Fry: “Actually, we’ve met once before.”
Malfunctioning Eddie: “WHAT?!”* (explodes)
Victor: “The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem.”
Malfunctioning Eddie: “Well the way I see it– ” (explodes)
Malfunctioning Eddie: “Me? What a surprise!” *puff* “Look I barely exploded at al!.”
5. The Robot Mafia
The robot mafia is comprised of three inseparable members which is the reason behind their grouping as one entry into the list. The stylish leader Don-Bot, the muscle Joey Mousepad, and the clamps…Clamps. Bender was once a member and frequently causes problems with the band of gangsters. He once managed to participate in Don bot’s three hates all at once, being a witness, making out with his daughters and attempting to duplicate his meatball recipe.
Although the robot mafia appear unforgiving, on several occasions the Don Bot has shown tolerance even after misplacing his mercy file, even providing some comical mishaps. Such Bender related instances include giving him (as Flexo) multiple chances after his scab money flashing before they attempt to kill him, even after he pays the DJ for a request.
The robot mafia have a very three stooges vibe with their illegal interactions, such as Joey’s adamant pushes to have Benders nickname as Clamps. The vendetta against bender is quite frequent in the series, especially when he testifies against them and is hunted by clamps, in the clamp heavy episode… “silence of the clamps”. However such instances where the mafia are separated are few and far between, luckily for us!
Donbot: Their desire to keep living shows me no respect. Hey, Blotto, roll down the window and start shooting.
Donbot:Alright, now let’s Mafia things up a little. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.
Joey: They’re coming straight toward our proximity. Maybe you should give ’em the clamps, Clamps.
Clamps: Gee, you think? You think that maybe I should use these clamps that I use every single day at every opportunity? You’re a freaking genius, you idiot!
The infamous manic machine himself, Roberto can be coined as that jerk who always seems to get away with no repercussions regardless of the committed crime. Makes sense then, that he is Bender’s old chum and uses him as a scapegoat during crimes. Classified as clinically insane, Roberto enjoys nothing more than stabbing and robbing banks, once the same bank three times in the episode “Insane in the Mainframe”.
Roberto’s background suits his insane and stabbing desires. Originally created by engineers with the purpose to compose the most insane robot ever built, they apparently failed according to the unstable Roberto. It can therefore be understood why replacing Eddie with Roberto as Fry’s new cell mate proves detrimental to his mental status, especially with his stabbing practice at night. Roberto promptly escaped with Benders forced help, and he proceeded to rob the Big Apple Bank another time.
Fortunately for humanity Roberto was supposedly killed in his last appearance in “The Six Million Dollar Mon” and stripped apart. However individuals should never count Roberto and his manic stabbing out.
Roberto: (wheeling Bender on a stretcher). I’m plannin’ an escape attempt.
Bender: Cool, When?
Roberto: About five seconds ago. (Camera zooms out, and the Robot Aslyum is seen in the distance).
Roberto: Well, looks like ol’ Roberto’s the focus of attention now! (pause) STOP LOOKING AT ME! Ah, ha-HAA!
Roberto: I’m not crazy. I’m just not user friendly.
Roberto: Think of a number between 1 and 10 and ill kill you first!
Bender: Umm… Uhh.. 56..ish?
Roberto: 56!? Great now all i can think about is 56! Ill kill you you no good 56er!
Green, Alien and with a pulsating brain, Bow down puny humans for Morbo! Number 3 on the list. With an aggressive compulsion for conquering Earth and slandering its inferior inhabitants, he is surprisingly acceptable in his career as a television personality and daily news reporter for ‘Entertainment and Earth invasion tonight’. Morbo’s unique blend of ‘mighty’ charisma and efficiency serve him well on ‘Who Dares to be a Millionaire’, achieving optimum levels of chitchat with contestants warned to prepare for pleasantries.
A patient destroyer and windmill expert, Morbo isn’t considered a family orientated invader. Calling his offspring ‘belligerent and numerous’ and suggesting impending doom for his wife Fawn due to meddling with his already sufficient attire. Even her cooking doesn’t satisfy, her meals of cats allegedly giving Morbo gas. Only one individual appears to be exempt from his frequent threats of destruction, his good (and only) friend Richard Nixon.
Linda the Newsanchor: At least all those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo: Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
Linda: Tonight at eleven…
Morbo: Silence, puny audience, and welcome to Who Dares To Be A Millionaire! Tremble at Morbo’s mighty likeability, as I chitchat with our first contestant, Philip J. Fry!
Morbo: Morbo will now introduce the candidates – Puny Human Number One, Puny Human Number Two, and Morbo’s good friend Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon’s Head: How’s the family, Morbo?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
He is Scruffy… The janitor. Self certain and wise, he refers to himself in the third person. Scruffy does his job so effectively that his co-workers assert they have never seen him before, and Scruffy declares he never sees them. Because of this trait he understandably once received employee of the month at Planet Express. Although hardly noticed and frequently forgotten it never seems to faze this pornography enthusiast, and he proves his faith in the company buying over 40000 shares in Planet Express, which is more than any other employee.
Scruffy Scruffington seems to assign his time reading pornography (National Pornographic, Zero-G-Juggs etc), dropping pearls of wisdom (mostly ‘turlet’ and shanking advice) and producing articulated poetry for his co-workers. Perhaps the reason behind his educated demeanor is due to his time working for his masters in Theoretical Janitorial Science, which remains unfinished. Even when the threat of death rises Scruffy is able to reflect poetically that his life would end the way it was lived, and he casually turns the page on his porn mag.
Scruffy always seems to have an elegant answer. If he isn’t working its a ‘schedule conflict’, or love discussion with his on again off again janitorial equipment, or sometimes Scruffy uses an individual’s catch phrase in remembrance. A janitor of simple tastes, yet as complex and deep if a character ever presented in Futurama. Scruffy Scruffington is always there to provide calm in chaos and clean up (heh…) the Planet Express mess.
Scruffy: Boy, I’ve never seen him so down. Or ever before.
Scruffy: What fevered dream is this that bids to tear this company in twain? (continues to read National Pornographic magazine).
Scruffy: Scruffy votes his forty thousand shares for the mysterious stranger.
Leela: Wait a minute, how come you have four times as much share as the rest of us?
Scruffy: Scruffy believes in this company (tears up)
Scruffy: The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Mmmhm
Farnsworth: There’s some dirt on this computer.
Scruffy: Sorry. I was eatin’ a can of breakfast…and lookin’ at porn.
Scruffy: A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld. Well, into the turlet.
1. Zapp Brannigan
The undisputed champion of one liners in Futurama, this icon needs no introduction. However here is a sensual description nonetheless. This sleazy spaceship captain has multiple sexy credentials. He is a 25 star general in the Democratic Order of Planets, a supposed respectable hero to the general public, and proud owner of the sexy learning disability sexlexia. Perhaps his most recognizable traits are his hatred of pants (now understandable), which he concludes to be for the weak, and his love/hate relationship with Leela. Admittedly all the hate is specifically deriving from Leela, and denied love exclusively towards Zapp.
In honesty, his supposed hero status couldn’t be further from the truth. On multiple occasions Zapp has proven to be selfish, dimwitted, rude, cowardly, egotistical and especially perverted (and we love him for it). He has also demonstrated to be a completely inept general. On countless occurrences the Zapper is seen to humiliate his second in command Kiff, and is frequently attacking/invading pacifists and easily abolished forces.
These easy victories, are due to sacrificing vast amounts of troops with strategic suicidal maneuvers. Such a tactic was used against the kill bots, when Zapp sent waves of earth’s own soldiers for the Killbots to wipe out in order to reach their kill limit. Another popular method, used this time against against the Omacronian’s, was to direct pilots to “fly directly into the enemy death cannons, clogging them with wreckage”.
Zapp delivers one of the best lines of the show during this episode, directed at his OWN soldiers during his command in a slaughtering airship battle, “stop exploding you cowards!”
Zapp has a natural talent to both inspire and obtain the trust of large groups of individuals (including our Planet Express crew), only to break that trust and inevitably attempt to led them to their doom for personal gain. Although this leads to the crews general dislike of him, it leads to our undying love if him. This is why Zapp takes out the top position on the list.
Some of his glorious quotes:
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Brannigan’s Law is like Brannigan’s love, hard and fast!
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan’s Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: A valid question! We know nothing about them, their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this. They stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks!
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Here’s to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Thoughts on the placement of characters? Who should I have put in? Who should have been left out?
Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments. Thanks for reading!
*All rights for Futurama and its characters go to Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, the Fox broadcasting network and Comedy Central network. Pictures proved by the infosphere and Futurama wiki.
The profile picture was created by the talented Zapp lover Anthony Freeland, and subject to copyright. check out his great designs.